Inner
Work
For the week of: October 11, 2004
Losing Face
The chairman of a large corporation
recently noted that we only need to make one or two good decisions in
our life. Whether that’s true or not, the idea certainly points to the
fact that many of our choices, large and small, miss the mark. We make
mistakes or fail, and experience a kind of remorse.
Furthermore, we all have limitations.
To the extent we either do not recognize or do not fully accept those
limitations, we repeatedly enter situations that impose a rude awakening
upon us. Unpleasant situations and events whose roots lie in our own shortcomings
cause us to lose face. What is this painful experience? What face do we
lose?
The sum total of our conditioning,
experience, habits, and patterns form a psychological face, our personality,
that we mistakenly believe in as our authentic self, as who we are. This personality
face looks toward externals for fulfillment. When something in life goes
badly, especially due to our own inadequacy, it can happen that our personality
face, our mask, loses part of its overarching and unchallenged grip on
us.
In its place, through that
hole in the mask, we may glimpse what in Zen is known as our Original
Face Before We Were Born. Instead of solely looking out through the eyes
of our externally-oriented personality face, we begin to face the rich,
vibrant, living depth beyond thoughts and reactions, a depth that encompasses
both inner and outer.
The shock and discomfort of
the inevitable failures, disappointments, and humiliations of life, present
us with a choice. We can wallow in self-pity, self-loathing, despondency
and anger, or we can use the occasion to turn toward Something incomparably
greater than any passing situation, Something that will never fail. We
use the shock and energy of mistakes and failures to reinvigorate our
spiritual quest.
We never seek out failure,
for life readily provides us our share. Externally, when we fail, we forthrightly
pick ourselves up, assess what we can learn from the debacle, and then
work to succeed. Inwardly though, when we fail or suffer humiliation,
we turn from our personality face. Then comes the opportunity to return
to our Original Face, looking toward and from the Real.
For this week, notice how
you respond to mistakes, failures, and disappointments in life, be they
large or small. See if you can extricate the released energy from its downward
spiral and turn to face what will always matter.
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